Evan Brown

THE INTERNET – Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, tis I, your friendly neighborhood Journalist Extraordinair, Evan “Internet-Boy” Brown. I have done the unthinkable and ventured into the deep chasm that is the internet to answer one simple question.

I did this so that you, oh dear and sweet reader, would not have to. What query did I place upon the internet, you may very well be asking. Well, I’ll tell you, but first, the set up.

In 2008 a mysterious man by the name of  Satoshi Nakamoto published a paper called,  Bitcoin – A Peer to Peer Electronic Cash System to a mailing list dedicated to the discussion of cryptography. The identity of Mr. Nakamoto has remained a mystery to this day.

In January of 2009, code was written and distributed and BitCoin was born. This code layed out how BitCoins were created and how they were distributed. But, It wasn’t until March of 2010 that the first bitCoin was sold. At the time, it was valued as $0.03.

Since then, this strange internet currency has done nothing but grow, and today, a single BitCoin is valued at $11119.99s. Which, by the way, is roughly 4.44 Tiger cubs.

While the above paragraphs may provide an interesting and genuine explanation of BitCoin, that is boring and quite frankly I almost fell asleep writing it. Now that I think about it that could just be a personal problem with my sleep cycle. I digress.

I promised you a question and the internet’s answer to that very question. I asked the people of Reddit, YouTube, and Yahoo Answers this question: What is a BitCoin?

I received a plethora of incredibly helpful answers, suggestions, and methods of earning $1,000,000,000 from working at home by using this one simple trick, however, only one answer mattered.

This answer was supplied by a true legend, a leader of our generation and a real modern day hero. His answer changed me and how I see the world.

YouTube user, buttcoin477 said,

“Take a quarter and eat it, then your a bitcoin”

This was followed by a plethora of expletives that quite frankly hurt my feelings. The end.